Finding Joy

Not long ago, the girls and I attended the birthday dance party of our beloved Salsa teacher, C.K. Held at the studio where we take classes with him on weekday nights, the studio was crowded with his friends and students. We ate, drank champagne, danced, and then sat in a circle around the floor and listened to him play his guitar.

The room was quiet for a few moments, and I, personally, was fascinated. Not only by the music, which was lovely, but by the expression on his face. His eyes were closed, his expression rapt, and he was transformed. He became an entirely different person.Someone I had never seen before.

What we witnessed that night was a performance by the person he really is, his True Self. The face of that True Self was totally different than the face we see (or that I see)when he dances. It matters not what that new face looked like, or what his dancer face looks like, only that it was "someone else". C.K. has found a way to integrate his True Self, the musician, and his everyday "work self", the dance teacher, into one person. He is lucky enought to be able to access that True Self, and to bring him out around his friends, whenever he wants, and this probably accounts for why he is such a joyful person.

How many of us can say that? Who among us even knows who our True Self is?

I say this because I, like so many of my friends, spend so much time out of my day doing things that do not bring me much joy. Mundane things, like getting up at 6:15am, cleaning up the kitchen, reading e-mails, deleting junk e-mails, riding the subway, talking to clients, looking for new clients, sitting through continuing ed classes, paying bills, grocery shopping, paying more bills, emptying the cat litter, sorting the laundry, etc, etc., etc.

The things that make me happy, really happy, are the things that I do after I do all the mundane stuff. The happy-things are dancing (which is why this blog is called eatDANCEetc), reading good books, dining out at excellent-but-not-overpriced restaurants, hanging out with the girls, going to the theater with my husband, travelling to new places, watching trash TV with my daughter, watching "Mad Men" or reruns of "The Office", going to the movies by myself on the spur of the moment. shopping (when I have money), and writing. Yes, writing. About whatever I want, whenever I want; not worrying about getting published, not caring if anybody reads it or not.

So I have decided to re-dedicate myself to doing more of the happy-things, especially writing, since I cannot seem to get away from the everyday things that I have to do. (They just keep multiplying, like roaches, or bedbugs). I think my True Self is a writer, and I intend to keep looking for her while I climb out from under the ever-expanding mountain of the mundane.

And since I seem to be writing this blog for my children these days, my advice to them is this: FIND YOUR TRUE SELF. Find whatever brings you joy, and do it, every day, or as often as you can. Whether it is singing, painting, fashion-styling, healing the sick, teaching, dancing, cooking, making music, building houses, defending the downtrodden, taking pictures, hitting home runs, or writing, find YOUR particular joy.

Because the other stuff, the mundane stuff, the life-crushing-boring stuff, never goes away. It just takes over, if you let it.

Don't let it.